Theatre

Audience buys ‘a ticket’ to a theatre called ‘bhawta’. He takes a cup of tea and a cigarette perhaps to wait for the start with a rainbow of imagination. What could this be? At times praising the name to extremity and at the next layer gives the most rotten abuses that he could think and that was perhaps stored in his space. He keeps an eye at the counter to see how many tickets get sold. People are not coming just like he could not see aero planes in the sky. Then a crow from somewhere took an ugly flight and dropped his residue onto this great minds hair. He got irritated. And naturally so. He realized the mistake he has committed. Perhaps his biggest. He bought a ticket to a theatre and that too by the name bhawta. God knows what might be in store for him. He knew it from the beginning he saw the name that it was a bag full of shit. Yet to try out newer things in life to challenge his existence every other moment he bought the ticket with an abstract belief. He leaves the wait aside for another few moments. In those few moments he looks at the sky. He sees a flock of rainbow coloured birds. He sees the bright blue sky. He feels the wind’s touch. He sees the children playing with a wheel made of a wire. He sees beautiful lovers laughing. Then he made his second mistake. He looked at his watch. The last time he looked and took a measurement from his watch it gave him the information that the shitty play was starting in another half an hour. Then he tried to do the measurement with his intuition frivolously searching for all the things he had done after taking his first measurement. He concluded that the play should be starting in another 13 minutes. But the watch said something different. The watch said that the play should be starting in another 17 minutes. Fuck. Then started all sorts of research.

Try 1: let me assume that my calculation is correct.  13 minutes to go. Cool-ly he bought a cigarette. And with the ultimate raw pride lit it with his brand new match box and let go off the first few rings of turbulence. The half of the thing went with pride. No thought about any farther steps to make his calculations accurate. That is he stuck to his belief. He now elevated his eyes which turned slowly towards the counter. The ticket counter. He saw a couple buying a pair of ticket. Perhaps for the same play. He saw the boy asking a question to the ticket seller. He read his mouth and tried to figure out what could be the most probable question. He figured it out at once. His confidence growing like global warming. Then he saw the couple taking a sudden action to the reply from the seller. He saw them holding their opposite hands and running like the fastest runner he had seen or imagined in his real dream. And newton said it ‘right’. Inertia. It made him jump at once. But his impulse got delayed. And this thing led to confusion. ‘Okay newton you can keep your theory for the moment’. The lazy man wandered and the global warming like confidence vaporized to fire and he could feel his brain spinning with warmth. He scratched his head.

In between his 1^st and 2^nd try: took a few steps right 10 steps forward 3 million steps to the right and the last step brought him back to his origin. Fuck. What step should he take? He thought of the cool step taken by Archimedes that led him create a thing called buoyancy.  But he did not have the scope. He could not strip off his clothes and jump into a bathtub full with water. He tried to figure out an analogous step. Poor man of extreme intelligence. He tried to put all his previous knowledge class 1-12,his engineering degree knowledge, his post-graduation stuff, and now that he tried to challenge himself by switching from engineering to pursue a PhD in a subject that the subject himself don’t understand called ‘physics’. He was proud then. That he would be a theoretical physicist. Enough of engineering lets go back to fundamental science. Let’s do that thing. Let’s unify everything to a beautiful simple form that would solve every problem. That nature would become a slave. And he like a boss would order nature and the job would get done. But then again ‘what could be that step?’. He thought like anybody would do. Let me think like Einstein. What could he have done? Few ideas came but I’ll leave the ideas to your imagination. Messy stuffs. Think it your way. You are greater than Einstein.

In between his 1^st and 1-1/2th try: things are getting crazy like the gases in this room. He thought whether I should apply statistical mechanics or at once I should apply Nash’s win-win game like strategy. Fuck. It’s getting somewhere. His pride became a bit elevated. And this led a second crow from nowhere drop her residue onto his new khadi half sleeve ‘fotua’. He liked to read the poems of Shakti and stuffs and at times imagined himself to someone superior and he also wrote some extra-ordinary stuff that would tear apart an extreme intellectual mind. But in the process he got intellectual too and then someone like him could easily tear him down. Like the play called bhawta.

In between ‘ ‘- ‘ ‘: tired. He bought himself some water to drink. His throats got dry like an over burnt khichudi. The drink made him happy. He said to himself enough of these crazy measurements. Let’s take someone else’s help. That’s pretty smart. But this step could be misleading. Caution.

‘Dada apnar ghorite kota baje’. What is the time ‘by’ your watch?

That man got irritated at once.  ‘janina moshai. Baba ke giye jiggesh korun.’

Now he thought with his global warming like intellect that who this baba could probably be. He got some clue from the surrounding and then decided that the tea stall called’ babar ashirbad’ could be ‘the baba’. With pride he reached the stall. He repeated the same question like a Perigal Repeater repeats second.

At once 9:56. He gave him back a broad smile of relief.

He did his calculations and was assured that the play called bhawta was to start in another 3 minutes. Now confidently buying his cigarette and imagining he to be ‘Holmes’ let go rings of laminar smoke. He finished it in another few moments.

He now rose up from his kingly chair of ignorance or intellect (whatever) and cushion-ing his moustache with the remnants of ash in his fingers crossed the gate to take a long walk to freedom. His play now. Slowly and steadily he reached the auditorium’s door. He was about to put his hand on the door to push it open when he pull came from the other side and blew his body down to the ground. Bang. He saw people like mad coming out with red anger. He imagined he heard abuses. Not sure as his head was still spinning like a top on a frictionless table. Soon the hall got empty. That is he could not see any head coming out of the lab sorry the hall. He woke up like an elephant does taking a hell lot of a time. He waited by the door( 3 metres from the door) to see if at all the hall was empty. Waited for few moments to be sure and put his hand to open it up finally (he has been trying to open that door since ages). Pin drop silence inside. He took 3 steps forward to see someone on the stage with his hands in his hips. He concluded that he was an actor. The actor had his face hot like a sun from 3 meters distance. And the actor’s eyes pointed towards his.

The actor then suddenly jumped from the stage and with all his strength projected the tightest slap one could imagine. Poor man of extreme intellect fell down once again. The looks of the actor still the same and his hands still in his hips. He woke up  like Alice in her wonderland sleep.

And then he heard something with precision beautiful precision from the actor perhaps – ‘what is the time time time time……………..